Teenagers are going through the most significant life change from a child into an adult – and the transition can be difficult, leaving you wondering how to maintain a strong bond with your teenager. Raging hormones, gaining more responsibility with age, and even just coming to the end of their schooling can be stressful – but that is why you’re there; to smooth them into the new, exciting phase of their lives.
But the transition can be hard for parents too.
A child’s teenage years can be the most difficult to go through – according to a PinkVilla article directed at parents. At that point in a child’s life, they experience what feels like everything – from puberty, hormones, high school drama and the need to find their independence from you – the parent.
Your princess from pre-school or Grade 1 Spiderman fan is gone. As much as you may be in denial, your relationship with your teenager must change as they change.
The teenage years bring confusion and difficulty to the child and the parent. These years are critical because, in this time, they mould into future versions of themselves. The behaviour pattern’s your teen picks up now may shape their character for a lifetime.
It can be frustrating for you during this time, and you may feel like your bond with your once obedient child is disappearing, but the way you decide to approach this phase can lead you and your teenager to mutual respect and love.
How To Maintain A Strong Bond With Your Teenager: Understanding Their Needs
Believe it or not, your teenager is looking to you for support, structure and discipline. As your child grows older, you need to continue building and bettering your relationship with him or her. It may feel like you are dealing with a completely different person, but there are ways to maintain a bond with your new teenager and keep sane at the same time.
Take time to listen more to maintain a strong bond with your teenager
A teenager is basically a young adult, and as an adult, they want to be heard and shown respect. Your job is to be safe and accessible – let your child feel like they can confide in you about anything.
Taking the time to listen to your teenager does not mean you have to agree with everything they share with you. Speaking freely is important to teenagers, and it allows them to hear their thoughts and ideas out loud. As a parent, you gain insight into their limitations and problem-solving abilities.
Understand their concerns and share your own experiences
Parents, you too, were once a teenager. You know that being a teenager comes with confusion and change that needs fast adaptation. To understand the worry of your teenager, you need to give them a source of comfort and perhaps use their frustrations to compare to your own experiences.
A teenager wants to understand and find out more about the world and society. It can be good or bad curiosity, as some teenagers may find trouble with authorities because of a rebellious streak.
The last thing you can do in this situation is judged your teenager. Try another approach, such as putting yourself in their shoes and thinking about what you may do to cope or handle similar circumstances. Some words of comfort and relation may be what your teenager needs to hear, instead of angry screams of what they did wrong.
Respect their development
In your teen years, not only did you still need parenting, but your parents were looking for a way to maintain a strong bond with you while finding a balance between discipline, guidance and support.
Refrain from telling your teenager that life was more complicated than it presently is when you were their age. By saying this, you invalidate their experiences and struggles. Teenagers want to be treated more like adults and shown respect for the young adults they are becoming.
A parenting expert says teens are in a fragile stage between childhood and adulthood. Having their own identity is crucial, so the best support a parent can offer this time of development is to step a bit back from guiding and directing too much and let your teenager discover their skills and mastery.
Teenagers may want to be adults, but they are far from that. As much as you respect the development of your growing child, maintain a position of authority in your family, which is considered to foster healthy adolescent development.
Respecting your teen’s development also shows that you appreciate their growing skills and maturity to make them feel free to navigate their feelings.
Allow space for peer socialisation
Unfortunately, you may not like the company your teenager keeps, but you have to try and avoid making comments about your friends. A better way of communicating about friends and showing that you support their friendship decisions is to ask questions about what the friends do when they ‘hang out.
Have an open discussion about any dangers you pick up on or harmful activities and suggest fun alternatives. You can also encourage your teen to invite friends over more often to learn about his or her company.
Spending time together should continue
Your teenager may make you feel like you are the most tedious and uncool person in the world, but spending regular quality time together strengthens your bond.
The time you spend with your teenager may mean the world to them because some teenagers can feel forgotten or isolated. Your busy schedule can wait – your teenager needs you more.
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